lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
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