I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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