Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
I just had sex on a roof
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
