Umm I'm too high to move.
Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize