I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
