apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
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bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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