You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
