Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Randomize
