Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
hell yes lets make some ravioli
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
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