I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
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