awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
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