Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
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