Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe he injected his testicle?
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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