coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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