So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
Randomize
