So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
