everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
Randomize
