he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
Found your dick twin last night
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
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