So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Randomize
