DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
last night I used snow as a chaser
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
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