It's like God shit irony all over that family
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
