I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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