She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
organizing the empties. That sober.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
