dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
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