Christians are straight up FREAKS
If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
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