Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
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