fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
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