WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
