I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
I can't turn off my feet"
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
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