clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
