so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
