textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize