The maid of honor just puked.
now i know why i became what i already was.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
