so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
