i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
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