We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
