Kareoke will never be a sober sport
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Randomize
