I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
