I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Randomize
