do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
