OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
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It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
Green mimosas i think yes
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize