I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
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