after a month anything with tits is on the radar
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Randomize
