and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
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