i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
