My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Randomize
