so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Randomize
