He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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