I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
How naked do you want me to be?
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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