So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
Even my vagina gasped.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Randomize
