So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Randomize
