Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
Randomize