she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
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I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
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So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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