Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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