I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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