I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
