I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize