doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
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