i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
Randomize
