Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
Just took my morning after pill in the library
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
